Monday, September 21, 2009

Getting back in the Game

Just to let you know that whenever I don't keep up it's because I am having a difficult time. I am not going to go into details, but this has been the hardest two weeks I have just about ever had. I am confronting my past and my present and my future all at the same time and I have felt like I am going to break. I have been humbled and realize that this is all too big for me and this is what it takes for me to rely fully on the Lord. I have been there in a sense before for many situations in my life, but not my whole life. I feel like I need to get through this first otherwise I will not be strong enough when I go through my first session on Oct. 1st.

I am wondering where do I begin? Will I sound stupid? Self-involved? Ridiculous? These are all fears that I just need to conquer. I know that through this therapy process that I can get through the rest of my life hopefully without falling apart. I hope and pray that it brings me closer to my husband, my children and my family and friends.

I have learned who my true friends are. I taught RS yesterday and the lesson was on this very topic- How wonderful true friends are through adversity and how all of us in the Gospel should be a "just" friend! Someone asked what does that even mean? I think it mean something a little different to everyone because we all seek for different things and we are all individuals. To me it is a friend without limitations! A friend who just does without being asked or expected out of love and concern and simply wanting happiness for that other person and trying to share their load. I hope that I can be that friend to all of you! I hope that I can be that friend to myself!! We all need something.. love, affection, acceptance, honesty and loyalty to say the least. Thank you for being my friend.

4 comments:

Erin Dooley said...

Thank you for being My friend:):):)

Swangerlings said...

Dito!

foreverfamily said...

Whatever Jesus lays his hands upon lives. If Jesus lays his hands upon a marriage, it lives. If he is allowed to lay his hands upon a family, it lives. Howard W. Hunter

Light & Shadow said...

Dear Sarah, you are amazing! I am so sorry for the pain you are going to have to deal with when you begin therapy. Don't worry about what you will say. What needs to be said will come out in its own time. Don't rush yourself through the healing process. Be gentle, be kind, be thoughtful to yourself. Learn to nurture yourself the way you nuture your children. I am always just a phone call away.