Saturday, June 12, 2010

June 11th

I feel like saying...I give up! I give up on trying soooo hard! I seem to do it try to do it all and then when I realize that it's too much I don't do it at all. I desire to keep up with my blog and my dreams and projects and then I have no energy left. We have been moving so fast and if that's not enough we have all been sick off and on. We can't seem to catch a break!

My sisters Amber and Linsy where able to come and visit me for a while with little Emily. The situation was quite different to say the least. The first day Amber said...Sarah, do you every miss your house? I replied..NO! She said REALLY?! I DO! funny. It is hard to explain, but there is a time and a season for everything and I just know without a doubt that we where supposed to leave the house. I am however learning that hard way that I need to pick and choose my battles. This house that we are in is not mine and it is hard to be in a space that is not organized like I am used to. I am not saying that my house was perfect by any means, it's just different all together. I like things neat and tidy and you can't simply do that with little children. WHERE IS THE BALANCE???? This is my struggle.

I am on racing speed and I am going out of control. I know that I have an addiction problem and it is filling the space that evolves within me. Whether it is food, shopping, organizing, cleaning etc. they all feed it. I need to put myself in productive timeouts where I give myself genuine TLC. It sounds dorky, but it works. We spend all day cleaning, mending, washing, feeding, etc...we really need to set a certain amount of time out for ourselves and ourselves alone....not shopping for jeans for the kids.

I think I want to take a break from my life and my expectations and we'll see where that gets me.