Monday, May 11, 2009

What happened to my baby?!

Another Mother's Day come and gone in a flash. I ended up having to work it because we are taking off for Father's Day and I can't have both off. I actually didn't mind too much, I know my kids love me and that's enough for me.

This month is already going by in a whirl and I have so many things on my mind and projects I am starting or in the middle of. lol- I have been doing some yard work and taking some of my nasty grass out. I am so sick and tired of grass! This year is the worst for moss and icky spots. I decided to heck with it! I am taking out some of it to make it easier on myself. I will love myself later for it even though I make myself mad now by putting me in this situation in the first place. But that is who I am, it is a constant tug of war. I love and thrive on projects. I am a super-duper multitasker /perfectionist. And when alls said and done and the task is finished I am left somewhat empty, but if I get overboard then I enflict poor health on myself from stress and allergies. uhg! Will someone help me?! ha, ha,ha...I am sure there have to be others like me out there. My family just thinks I am crazy and insane. It's the running joke that Geoff went to work and came home with different colored walls. Oh well! it keeps me going and happy.

I can't believe it is already coming up on the middle of the month and that means my vacation is that much closer! YAY!!!!!! I am so excited to go see my sister Amber and her family and get in all the church sites and temples. I am really looking forward to having this experience with Eve, Jackson and Manti. They haven't been on a vacation like this in over 2 years so it will be a blast!

As I said before about time going by so fast, I find myself looking at Manti every day and noticing it stealing a piece of his babyness. I honestly don't remember it going this fast! What is up? That little boy face is peeking through and about to take over! I just look and stare....what is he going to look like, WAITE! not going! IS! oh my goodness!! I can already see how individual he is, like as he looks a lot like Jackson, but some like Eve too. It is crazy for me to experience this because it has always been hard to imagine the unknown. I have my girl and my boy and now this other boy who is all his own and so special- no one else like him in all the world. I sit back and think how thankful I am for these wonderful spirits and how I should take that time to be grateful a lot more. My fear is to be like Adam Sandler in CLICKE and fast forward through life only to jump ahead to a lot of empty memories. I could imagine being all alone and wishing with all my heart to have that time back and realizing it for the first time just how precious it was. I know that satan works on me and this is how he does it.


I know I need to be so much better about this. What is really important to me? I hope that you all cuddle your children up real tight and tell them just how much you love them and how important they are to you.


Erin Dooley said...

That is always good advise!!! I'll be sure to do a little extra cuddling!!!:) This time is so precious.

Light & Shadow said...

This is beautifully written, Sarah. As a mom who has had one child leave and another one going away in a year, I am definitely NOT liking this growing up thing at all.

foreverfamily said...

it wasn't that he came home from work to new color on the walls but that he woke up and the bedroom was a different color. we are sure are glad to have you.

Tricia said...

I know! I need to appreciate my kids more while they are little and here with me! Good post:)