Tiger's 1st Beach Trip!

We went to Seaside yesterday for the day and had soo much fun!!
This was Manti's first time going to the coast, but I didn't realize that until we left the beach.

I am starting to understand myself much more lately. I am learning that with everything going on emotionally and physically it is so easy for me to become detached from the world. For people who have never had this problem it is not easy to explain..the best way possible for me is to say it is most like "numbness", without feeling. I feel like someone is showing me a movie of my life and I am sitting there saying " THAT IS NOT ME AND THOSE ARE NOT MY KIDS OR HUSBAND"!

I need to start being!

I need to start loving myself and getting out and doing- getting involved! There are so many beautiful sights that Heavenly Father created for me and I hardly ever see them and worst of all because of it my kids don't either. I let my emotions control my life and in return my children's.

When I was little my mother took us everywhere! We grew up going to the beach, the falls and the lakes constantly even when my dad never went. For that I am so grateful that she had the determination to go and do what brought her happiness. I too have a husband who doesn't like water and it is really hard for me. I have so many happy memories of having fun in the sun and discovering myself and things I loved. It is sad to say, but I have deprived myself of soo many joys as I have gotten older because I didn't want to be by myself. NOT ANY MORE! I have to tell myself that money CANNOT buy memories! Yes, money does matter, but when it comes down to it it is only earthly. I have made a promise to myself to DO! To show my children the mother that they really have. I love my children with ALL MY HEART! I have to remember in the stillness that we chose eachother and most of all Heavenly Father granted me these amazing souls to raise and love and help discover who they really are too!

He was so cute.

The sand was hot and he really didn't know what to think.

Momma please!!? pick me up..

It took just a couple minutes for him to like it.

Jackson plowed right threw.

I said Jackson" You are frollicking" He asked what that meant and I told him..he got mad and said.."I don't frollick!".

It took a team of experts to apply sunscreen to this fish.

He is too adorable for his own good.

Sun in your eyes Eve?

collecting shells..mostly dead carcasses from crabs

toasty warm...NOT!


We lost that little yellow bucket castle. boohoo

Yah, I tried to explain that no on really swims in the ocean around here. She didn't really get it. lol

This one cracks me up. SHOW EM YOUR MUSCLES!! AYE!


That Geoff! He was taking picture while I was changing. HE WOULD! And then he says he's gonna put them on u-tube.



Eve said she is Queen of the Crabs- I don't know if I would want that title. YIKES!

silly boys

We hope she doesn't continue with this pose. ha,ha



Jackson won the award for the sandiest.


Hmm.. maybe I will eat some??

I am not throwing anything!

Yah, this doesn't taste very good!

BLAH! BLAH!


Qween of the Crabs sitting on her throne.

They got me.


I don't know where Eve is?

There she is!

NAKED TIME

SWANGERS ARE HERE- IT'S NUDIST NOW!!

Inside the town


It's a perfect hat for such a face.

Lamb Chop has been raised from the dead!

Eve and I beat Mim and Jacks so hard.

just waiting...



Hmm Tiltawirl is fun. This was Jackson's first time. He loves spinning stuff so I figured he'd be fine and he loved it!

Eve decided not to go on it because she got scared last time..so this is the face she made when she saw Jackson come with me. HA,HA,HA

C'MON lets go already!

SKI BALL


That was our lovely beach trip and I am going to be on the beach ALL day next time.

This was last weekend at the Hawaiian Festival.


Cousin Loa (from the island) Mim and Manti.

Eve went to her art class that she started up again. She is such a wonderful artist and is so talented.

Girl time.

It is soo hot!



Just playing around the house.


I like string.

I am addicted!

This was my Dad's 73rd birthday!

Eve's Utah Shoot

This is a quote that I found on my sister in laws blog that I love.

In the gospel of Jesus Christ you have help from both sides of the veil and you must never forget that. When disappointment and discouragement strike – and they will – you remember and never forget that if our eyes could be opened we would see horses and chariots of fire (2 Kgs. 6:16-17) as far as the eye can see riding at reckless speed to come to our protection. They will always be there, these armies of heaven, in defense of Abraham's seed.

Elder Jeffery R. Holland

Better Days

I came home from Utah and felt great! It was good to come home to my man and have us all together.

Although 0n the second day it hit, the tears all came in. I don't know why, but it all just overtakes me and I feel like I have to escape from my life and yet I long for being with my family and feeling their love. It's like I live in a bubble and I can only feel myself. I feel like I am a bad mother during these times because I have no connection with anyone and it's hard to place myself where I am suppose to be. It's difficult to face that I have to deal with this my whole life and some how manage to get through it. I feel ashamed and try to hide it and Geoff always seems to just know that something is not right. I know that I am messed up and I feel horrible for having to put that burden on my husband when I don't even know how to deal with it myself. My pain is surfacing and it seems to bob up and down, like the anchor has been cut and it seems to come up when it wants without any control. I know this because something newer has emerged and it is very personal. I think of this as therapy and I can type the words that I want without having to say them out loud and not worry about personal reactions.

This is affecting me...when I am physical I go on an emotional roller coaster. I am blessed with a loving husband who "loves" me well and it has always been great, but now the tears have reached me there too! I am embarrassed to say, but it is every time lately and I try to hide the tears as much as possible, but it doesn't seem to work to well. It will kill the mood of couse for him and I feel aweful and then I feel even worse, then gult sets in. I love this person more than he could ever know. Why does this nastiness have to follow me here out of all places and times? Can't this be sacred ground? After the last big bawl fest it came to me- this is when I am most volnurable and it's the exact action in which I was caused this tremendous pain... it was only time. It's horrible reliving it! I am learning, I have to get through this and I am pretty sure I know how. I know that the road is long and bumpy, but I have my loving Savior by my side to see me though.

It was only until today that I feel fully functional again and it amazed me the difference it makes. I got a lot of stuff done today, I didn't yell at my kids too much, I didn't let my temper get the better of me and most of all I wasn't SAD! I hate being sad more than anything because you can't feel past it. I only hope that brighter days are ahead because this weather severely depressed me. I mean,c'mon it's summer time for goodness sakes! Where is the flipp'in sun? And it always seems to come out right before I have to head to work. lol

Well I still have tons of pictures from the trip to down load and I will hopefully get to them now that I am feeling better. I wish everyone a good day.