I had a difficult time last night, it really sunk in. I understand all too well the misery that one can feel from depression. After shedding many tears I made myself go to sleep and just sat there while my thoughts turned to Randy's face and what pain can really do to you. I understand it and I am so grateful to have that understanding. Through this I know my Savior more and know what his Atonement really offers all of us.

I woke up this morning to a hymn in my head, something that never usually happens and I know it was the Spirit giving me comfort.

I STAND ALL AMAZED AT THE LOVE JESUS OFFERS ME.....CONFUSED AT THE GRACE THAT SO FULLY HE PROFFERS ME..THAT FOR ME A SINNER HE SUFFERED HE BLED AND DIED... OH IT IS WONDERFUL THAT HE SHOULD CARE FOR ME ENOUGH TO DIE FOR ME....OH IT IS WONDERFUL , WONDERFUL TO ME!
TO RESCUE A SOUL SO REBELLIOUS AND PROUD AS MINE...THAT HE SHOULD EXTEND HIS GREAT LOVE UNTO SUCH AS I... SUFFICIENT TO OWN TO REDEEM AND TO JUSTIFY...SUCH MERCY, SUCH LOVE AND DEVOTION CAN I FORGET?.. NO, NO I WILL PRAISE AND ADORE AT THE MERCY SEAT...UNTIL AT THE GLORIFIED THRONE I KNEEL AT HIS FEET....OH IT IS WONDERFUL THAT HE SHOULD CARE FOR ME ENOUGH TO DIE FOR ME...OH IT IS WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL TO ME!

Today has been a day that I would never want to relive. There are so many things thoughts that are racing through my brain and yet I am empty. I just wanted to share a quote that I found today that brought me comfort..."It is NEVER too late for peace". I believe this with ALL my heart and I know that God wants this for us. HE loves us more that we can even comprehend. Our Savior suffered for us and took that upon HIM so that we would not have to, but as we all know life does not happen the way that we want or think it should. All I am saying is that there is so much grace when we seek for it. God is loving and God is merciful! The only thing that brings me comfort is that my brother in law is now finaly at peace and can actually feel pure and unconditional love.